WritersShowcase

NOTHING CAN TEAR US APART

 Nausea continued to have its firm, steady grip on me. A chill zigzagged throughout my body.

A persistent, pounding ache ruled my head. My nerves were frazzled, fraught. I was in my master bedroom suite, staring out of the French doors with a tear trickling down my right cheek.

You see, I still hadn’t wrapped my head around what had happened to me just shy of a couple of days before. Antonio, the love of my life, had battered me. He actually believed I’d been unfaithful.

And, I didn’t want to acknowledge my reflection in the mirror. A busted, blown up lip. The right side of my face was swollen, bruised. Black and blue, in fact.

One of Antonio’s extraordinarily powerful hands had hammered that part of my face. It felt like I’d been rammed into a slab of cement.

Fortunately, no bones had been broken. Enraged, the massively built Antonio had shoved me against a hotel room wall, pinning me as he inflicted his damage. My shoulders and back took the full brunt of that impact. They felt on fire.

Let me say that physically, I’m no slouch. But even with a worked-out body, I simply couldn’t compete. As well, childhood demons prevented me from defending myself. And most importantly, I just couldn’t bring myself to strike the man whom I loved.    

Evans/Nothing Can Tear Us Apart 2    

The attack seemed to end as quickly as it began. It was as if suddenly, an exorcist had purged Antonio of the demons that had inhabited him. All at once, he backed away from me, as if every ounce of life force had been drained out of his body.

His actions horrified him. So, with blood streaming down my face, my legs gave away. Like some limp, broken rag doll, I nearly slumped to the floor. Catching myself, I managed to amble to the bathroom, with Antonio on my heels.

Without warning, I upchucked. Seconds after that, I collapsed. .

And while staring out those French doors, so many jumbled thoughts and feelings ran through my mind, colliding into each other.

How could Antonio, my significant other, my life partner, the love of my life, my soul mate, do this to me? How could the hands that so deliciously stroked my body inflict such cruel suffering onto me? How could he have disrespected, violated and betrayed me in such a way? How? How?

Never in my scurriest (that’s scariest, y’all) nightmares had I felt so completely lost, adrift on a vast, lonely sea with absolutely no end in sight.

God, how I'd wanted it to work with Antonio! I had such high hopes. I’d already experienced two failed relationships that left me bitter, nearly ripping me apart inside. I didn't think I could ever trust again--even though I desperately wanted to. . Well, I was wrong. I met Antonio, whom I’d hired as my Chief of Security.

We became so tight. Discovered we had so much in common. He listened to me,  valuing what I had to share. We grew to deeply care about each other.

And daymn! The sexual attraction between us was huge, off the chain. But oh, how I fought my feelings. Hard. But, I couldn’t help myself--and neither could he.

So, we fell head over heels. And it felt soooo good. I trusted this man, felt safe with him. Loved him like I’d never loved anyone before.

The icing on the cake was that he seemed unaffected by my wealth and position, only wanting me for me. Therefore, I couldn’t wrap my mind around his betrayal. The ol’ brain computer simply would not and could not process this information. And then, Antonio entered the room.

He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’ d been true to him. There was concrete evidence attesting to that fact. The truth of the matter was that I’d been set up. No--actually, we’d been set up.

You see, there was this thug, this drug lord who called himself Ruffkut. Yeah, Ruffkut. We’d had run ins before and after I’d met Antonio. This "smooth criminal" wanted to buy into my company so that he could look "legit." Of course, I wasn’t having any of it.

So, Ruffkut vowed that one day, somehow, he’d give me a world of pain. But, unfortunately for me, he was true to his word. Slowly, I turned to Antonio, who was totally dejected.      

We were just a few feet apart when he gasped. My face, which looked worse since the last time we’d seen each other, made him wince. His expression revealed that he was sickened to his very core. Before he spoke, Antonio chose his words carefully.

"Ba…Baby, I’m so, so sorry. (Long pause). Are…are you in a lot of pain?" Staring him down, I said, icily, "I’ll survive." Next, Antonio began his entreaty. "Wesley…. can we really talk?" My blood began to boil.

"What more can you say, Antonio? I pleaded with you that I hadn’t cheated. I’d never do that to you, Antonio. Never!"

"I know that now, I…."

"You know that now? My God, ‘Tonio! You should’ve known from jump street that I’d never be untrue to you!

" My blood pressure started to skyrocket. Continuing, I yelled, "Dammit, I was kidnapped and drugged. It was made to look like I’d been unfaithful to you when you found me in that hotel suite."

Then I reminded him, "And you knew that Ruffkut had vowed he’d get back at me one way or another! You fell for it…all of it!" My blood pressure continued it’s "aerial dynamics." My heart raced, my head banged. And I was sweating, profusely (I always did that when I was stressed out big time.).

"Ya gotta understand, baby. Insecurities I thought I'd beaten kicked in. (Pause.) My other lovers played me, fucked around on me, and…"    

I cut him off. "But I am not those other lovers, ‘Tonio! I thought I’d proven myself to you!" I found myself inching closer towards him. Incensed, I bellowed, "Besides, there’s absolutely no excuse for what you did! None! I mean, how can you make love to me and then hit me? How???"

Now, the tears burned down my cheeks. Antonio was struggling to reach out, to work his way back to me. He moved in closer. But only a little closer.

At this point, we were, I'd say, about a half a foot apart from one another. Then, ‘Tonio interjected, "Wes, I love ya more than my life! I was outta my fuckin’ mind when I did what I did. Outta control…. I didn’t mean to do it... Didn’t mean to hurt ya."

He was frantic, trying to make me make sense of what he did. Now I was a volcano, spewing lava (and spit) and becoming a raging inferno…or lunatic, if you will. We seemed to be unaware that we were drawing that much nearer to each other, like the inevitable attraction between a magnet and lead.

I ranted, "Out of control? Didn’t mean to do it?’ Why couldn’t you just fuckin’ stop? After you shoved me into that wall, why couldn’t you’ve thought, ‘Oh, shit! Just what am I doing? I love this man more than my life! I’ve gotta stop!’ "

I waited for a response, any response. But there wasn’t one. So, he moved away from me. He was holding the evidence that proved in living color what I’d already figured out. It was a videotape  of that maniacal Ruffkut explaining in graphic detail how he’d set me up.

Ruffkut was so gleeful that he looked like he was having a stupendous, off the chart orgasm. Crouching over the leather chair next to the mahogany desk, Antonio was unable to muster up a single syllable.

The only thing he could do was to lower his head in frustration…. and shame. After less than a minute of chilly silence, ‘Tonio, tears now forming in his eyes, turned to me and softly asked, "Wesley…do ya still love me?"

He looked like a wounded little boy who'd terribly disappointed and betrayed his parents. I just shook my head. In a few seconds, I turned away in disgust. I’d had it.

Cautiously, he resumed his approach. "C’mon, Wes--there’s been so much good between us…some part of you’s still gotta love me." (Huge pause.) "Am I right?" He wasn’t so convinced. (Now came a huger pause on my part.) Then, Antonio pleaded, anxiously, "I’ll do anything to make this up to ya, sweetheart. Anything."

Then, wringing his hands and using them to make his point, he moaned, "Just tell me what’cha want." Realizing his appeal was falling on deaf ears, he pushed, "C’mon now, baybee…won’tcha talk ta me?" I could see that his heart was sinking. I faced him again, but kept my distance.

At this point, I was thoroughly, totally, worn out. I felt like some beaten up, broken down cripple. So I whispered, "You  can’t change what happened." Almost as an afterthought, I added, "And sorry is just a sorry word."

Frightened, Antonio shouted, "I don’t wanna…can’t lose ya, Wesley. We can work this out. I know we can. Just don’t give up on me. Please!" Suddenly, I reached a higher plain of "losing it."

"Don’t give up on you? I suppose you want me to give you another chance so you can kick my black ass again! I don’t think so!"

"That’s not true!" he screamed. "Please don’t say that!" Suddenly, tears sprinted down Antonio’s cheeks. He reached for my left arm but I jerked it away. Mortified, he exclaimed, his deep voice cracking, "Oh God— what’ve I done to ya?!"

Now I said to myself, "Doesn’t he get it? Doesn’t he fully understand the ramifications of his actions?"

As those thoughts swirled around in my head, I was standing near one of the curios. It held pricey and antique crystal and porcelain. With my blood pressure hovering in the stratosphere, and with my hurt, disappointment and outrage at its peak, I shoved over that curio. Hard.

Glass shattered every which way. Shocked, 'Tonio backed off. What I’d done floored me. All this crap was eating away at me, and it had to end. Then and there. At that moment. Rising, I stared at Antonio again. In a hushed tone, I said, "We are through. I want you out of my house. Now."

Antonio was incredulous. As his eyes widened, he stammered, "Ya can’t mean that, sweetheart! (Pause.) Ya told me that this was our house, ours tagetha!"

Sternly, I answered, "I bought this house with five mil of my own money." I pounded my chest, making my point. Defeated, Antonio responded, "You know what I meant." Not wanting to hear another word, I demanded, "I want you the fuck out of Kellyheart! Pronto!"

Through his tears, Antonio frantically searched for the love light that had once shined brightly in my eyes. I don’t think he found it. So, trying to stay his ground, he entered another plea. "Wesley, I love ya with all my heart... and at least part of ya still has to know it. I believe that." He was workin’ overtime to convince himself.

He swallowed deeply. "I will do absolutely anything to redeem myself…to make you love and trust me the way you did before. Therapy, counseling…whatever the fuck it takes. You mean just that much to me." Shaking my head, I muttered, "Please…Antonio…will you just go."

He didn’t move. Now, my patience was soooo long gone. There wasn't an iota of it left. Angrily gesturing to the double bedroom doors, I ordered, "I said get the fuck outta my house before I call the security guys you NO LONGER supervise! I mean it, Antonio!"

Inhaling and gazing deeply at me, Antonio moaned, "I’m not giving up on ya…on us. We aren’t finished…not by a long shot! You can bet your life on it."

After saying that, he turned and walked away. Out of my life. I opened the French doors, which overlooked the gardens. I mused, "Could I have done something to prevent any of this? Could I?"

And all at once, I got lost in thought, traveling back in time to right before I first met Antonio, the love of my life…    

###

Wyatt O'Brian Evans