Never, never sell all rights. . . put not your trust in computers. . . a
left hook from Pratchett. . . change for Granta?
AMERICA’S most successful playwright, Neil Simon, gives an example to
illustrate our often-quoted advice: never sell all rights. Simon rose to
fame with Come Blow Your Horn and reached stardom with Barefoot in
the Park and The Odd Couple. After his epic struggle for
recognition and literally hundreds of re-writes he still did not recognise
his own genius.
However, he put two plays, The Odd Couple and Barefoot in the
Park into a company called Ellen Enterprises and received an offer of
$125,000 for it from Paramount pictures.
His then business adviser pointed out that the odds on him writing
another smash hit play were remote and $125,000 was a good price.
Eventually the deal was done. Simon got his money and Paramount got a
property from which they made millions of dollars. For a start they launched
a TV series, The Odd Couple, which went global and as Barefoot
became one of the most popular plays in the world more millions in royalties
poured in.
As Simon writes: From that day I never received a penny royalties from
these two works. My children will never see the money nor my grandchildren.
Nobody stole it from me but I just wish that the business manager from
Paramount had been my business manager.
So remember: never sell all rights. After all, who would have thought
Les Miserables would have made a musical?
STUDENTS bewitched by computers need to be told – and we tell them
frequently – that there are two sorts of writers. Those who have lost
everything on their hard disk – and those who will. Always back up.
Second lesson is: never trust their spelling. We had two examples in one
day. Was the much-maligned first Labour Prime Minister Ramsey MacDonald or
Ramsay MacDonald? And the great Nathaniel Hawthorn. Did he have an e on the
end of his name or not?
A quick search via Mr Google showed both spellings for both men quoted on
the world wide web. Back to the reference books.
I HAVE always liked Terry Pratchett from the moment one of my daughters
went rushing off to our local bookseller to buy one of his books. Television
is to film a three-part version of Johnny and the Bomb which is
scheduled for showing next year.
But what amused me was his comments in the 2006 Writers’ and Artists'
Yearbook.
He writes: I get asked all the time: can you give me a few tips about
being a writer. And you sense that gleam in the eye, that hope that somehow
you’ll drop your guard and hand over the map to the Holy Grail or,
preferably, its URL.
I detect a slight worrying edge to all this, a hint that grammar,
spelling and punctuation have a part to play in all this . . . and that the
universe is remiss in not making allowance for the fact that you don’t have
the time.
So I give tips on how to be a professional boxer. A good diet is
essential, of course, as is a daily regime of exercise. Pay attention to
your footwork, it will often get you out of trouble ... take every
opportunity to watch a good professional fight. Learn something from the
fighters who get it wrong. Don’t listen to what they say, watch what they
do.
Got it? Well becoming a writer is basically exactly the same thing,
except that it isn’t about boxing. It’s as simple as that.
The only thing he forgot to mention was that boxing hurts when you get a
punch on the nose . . . and writing hurts when you open another rejection.
If you use the W & A Yb merely as a directory and don’t read the
articles you are missing out on much useful information.
RUMOUR has it that Granta is up for sale as the American owner,
Rea Hederman, wishes to retire. It would be a pity if this magazine and
publishing company were to change greatly on any transfer of ownership for
it has long been a beacon in the world of publishing.
Provocative and often infuriating, it shows courage in its choice of
subjects and is always well written and edited.
JAMES HENEAGE is looking to lead a management campaign to buy back
Ottakar’s the book-selling chain he founded. He has certainly been on the
receiving end of some criticism in the City following poor performances.
No doubt people who bought shares at the top will not be jumping for joy
at his proposed price. Perhaps a new bidder will appear forcing him to up
the ante.
OUR office seems to abound with reference books and trawling through
Bloomsbury’s Quotations for Speeches I came across this gem: You know
I go to the theatre to be entertained . . . I don’t want to see plays about
rape, sodomy and drug addiction... I can get all that at home. –
the late, incomparable Peter Cook.
Gazing out of the window time (instead of writing)
Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic?
If four out of five people suffer from diarrhoea does that mean one
enjoys it?
